Thoroughly Muslim Millie

Robert Nesti READ TIME: 5 MIN.

"Why can't we get along?" wonders Millie, the titular character in the opening number of "Thoroughly Muslim Millie", the Gold Dust Orphans' latest now playing at the Ramrod Center for the Performing Arts through May 10.

The bright-eyed Millie, played with a sweet innocuous pluck by Jessica Barstis, is likely a gluton-free vegan with chronic case of activistitis in Ryan Landry's send-up of everything from Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals to the war on terror.

The fact that she's marching in an anti-war demonstration just over the Canadian border, only proves to be a nuisance to the Mother Superior, who reigns over the American convent where she lives; as well as crucial to a plot that has her whisked away - Maria Von Trapp-style - to a Middle Eastern country known only as "Persia" where she's hired to play governess to the Prince's 17 children.

But before you think that Landry and the Orphans are having some "kumbaya" moment, we find that Millie is just a pawn in a political game orchestrated by the Mother Superior, who is Dick Cheney in disguise, to take ownership of the oil deposits that sit beneath the Prince's palace. Millie is to marry the Prince (Nash Hightower), who is said to be an Arabian Quasimodo; once she does, Mr. Cheney (a hilarious Larry Coen) and his wife Lynne (Olive Another, also hilarious) plan to swoop in and claim the oil. Isn't that what the Iraqi war was all about?

Millie, of course, is a fish-out-of-water once in Persia, where the Prince, who turns out to look like one of the Hemsworth brothers, insists she follow their cultural traditions and convert to Islam before they marry. It is his first wife, Bruta (Landry) that impersonates the Prince for the media. Millie charms the Prince, but when it is revealed what the Cheneys are up to, he turns on her and (spoiler alert!) starts a war.

Once again the show is buoyed by Landry's canny lyrics to showtunes by Rodgers and Hammerstein, Lerner and Loewe, Irving Berlin, Frank Loesser and (most notably) Jule Styne. The latter is heard in two show-stoppers: a sly take on "You Gotta Have a Gimmick" called "You Gotta Have a Burka," in which three Persian women instruct Millie into the virtues of wearing the garment; and a version of "Don't Rain on My Parade," here sung as duet between Millie and the Prince's sister Diesel (the irreplaceable Liza Lott) as a song about small arms titled "Don't Play With No Grenades".

Millie and the Prince playfully banter with "Anything Muslims Do Catholics Do Better;" and best of all is "Near the Mosque Where You Live" in which a smitten Mary Cheney (Tim Lawton) sings his love for Diesel replete with projected lyrics for the audience to sing-along with. That they may hesitate may be due to the fact that they are enthralled by Lawton's guileless vocal, which booms as much as it charms.

Larry Coen's staging effectively transitions from the lightness of the first half to the high drama (and body count) of the second; and his first-rate cast maintain a deliriously cartoonish style throughout. The performances are wonderfully over-the-top in the typical style that has made the Orphans the heirs to the burlesque/sketch comedy-style that has all but disappeared from the theater. Jessica Barstis plays Millie with a winning deadpan naivete; she's well-matched by Nash Hightower, whose droll take on the Prince is more blonde surfer dude than Middle Eastern despot. Larry Coen eerily channels Dick Cheney's snaring nature, while Olive Another displays matchless comic timing as his wife Lynne. Her best moments come with a bitch-fight between herself and Natasha, a Russian dominatrix given vivid comic life by Penny Champayne. She doesn't arrive until late in the show, but is worth the wait. Once again Liza Lott wisecracks and belts with endearing style; Tim Lawton, as her love interest, is delightfully oversized (in more ways than one) as the extremely butch Mary Cheney; and Landry offers another rubber-faced top banana turn as the Prince's regrettably homely wife.

Given the nature of our political climate it's not surprising to hear that some are a bit nervous about attending this show. There's even a joke in the closing number about making it through without a terror attack. But this is more a cracked Arabian Nights tale with some well-placed commentary about greedy Americans involved in Middle East affairs. About the only people that might be offended here would be staunch Republicans - Log Cabin or otherwise - when they see how viciously Landry lampoons the power mad Cheneys. Landry's long been a ham, but one marinated in caustic wit and a theatrical inventiveness that never seems to flag. His genius is most evident here, exposing the worlds foibles through the fun house mirror of his imagination while once again making us laugh as he does so.

Thoroughly Muslim Millie continues through May 20 at Machine, 1254 Bolyston Street, Boston, MA. For more information, visit the Gold Dust Orphans Facebook page.


by Robert Nesti , EDGE National Arts & Entertainment Editor

Robert Nesti can be reached at [email protected].

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